Determination!

SO... I weighed in today, thinking that today was the day I'd hit my 30 lb loss... and I was 0.6 lbs short... Here I'd lost 3.7 lbs, which is really pretty good for one week, (especially since we celebrated my birthday Friday night and I did allow myself to enjoy a margarita... and a birthday shot of Patron... and Cai Cai's shot of Patron... sending my body not only into a tipsy spell but also somewhat of carb shock that kept me out of ketosis for two days)... but as I stood on the scale, and saw the numbers... instead of being happy with a 3.7 loss, I was disappointed because I was so close to that target, but not close enough!
As I was sitting in the parking lot at the pharmacy, after my appointment, I was looking through my calendar and realized that I had actually set next week as the target date for losing 30 lbs.... so I was sort of ahead of the game... and in true Megan fashion... instead of offering myself a little grace... I raised the bar and decided that I would set another goal for next week...
Ironic enough, my weight loss counselor and I engaged in a 30 min conversation (pastoral care conversation) where I extended to her an invitation to accept some grace and forgiveness for herself and set boundaries... It was a pretty powerful conversation, actually... that started out as girl talk, took a turn when she asked me, out of curiosity, "Do you go to church?" and I responded with "yeah... actually I'm a minister"... and got rather deep, theologically and spiritually, rather quick.  It was actually refreshing to have such a receptive response to my announcement of my profession.... a lot of times I get that deer in the headlights look, followed by an awkward silence, that can mean anything from "Oh shit, what have I said in front of her?" to "Ok, so is she gonna preach at me?"  Instead she lit up and smiled and I could see a sense of relief that she could be authentic with me instead of talking in some PC code because she was at work and I am a "customer."  She is a beautiful woman with a beautiful spirit and a beautiful heart and I was blessed to have been let inside.
Anyway... I think there is a healthy balance between grace and forgiveness and self-respecting determination and strong will.  I guess that's where boundaries come in!  ...and so it comes full circle...
Soooooo... Watch out!  I'm on a serious mission this week! I am determined to lose at least 5.6 lbs in the next 10 days... which means that I will have lost 35 lbs (in 10 weeks) before graduation!

Honestly, I'm just feeling so incredibly blessed lately... graduation... ordination... weight loss... all monumental milestones/goals/battles won that have required a great deal of determination.
I love my job and have gotten a great deal of external affirmation that I do it well, lately...
Cedric and I doing better than we ever have... from where I stand... in that, we are communicating... and even when we have a scuffle... we stay engaged... I think we've learned how to lean in to each other... and it feels good!
I think my reflection on all of this today is the common theme of determination... there have been valleys and mountaintops in each of these ventures... and while two of these ventures are coming to an end on a mountaintop, I know that they are only paths to other ventures that will come with their own valleys... and while this particular leg of the weight loss race has been smooth sailing... this isn't the first time I have lost weight or tried to lose weight... and it's not always going to fall off like taking off layers of clothes.... and when its all gone... that won't be the end either, because the new battle will be staying committed to being healthy!  And while Cedric and I are enjoying the view from another honeymoon stay, we havea  lifetime of trials and tribulations to conquer together and it we won't always feel as seamlessly connected as we do right now...
Determination... I am so thankful our parents taught us what it means... because all three of us (my siblings and I... and our significant others too) have been blessed because of it!  We watched our parents model what it means to meet God in the middle... We are certainly blessed to swim in an ocean of lemonade... and we're all determined to make more of it because God has an endless supply of straws!

Speaking of determination... I think I need to work on the balance between determination and hard-headed foolishness as Lillie (in her cute little pink sweater) and I sit, curled up in a ball, toes freezing, wrapped in a blanket on the couch because my house is 60 degrees and I refuse to turn on the heater because I'm not ready to start paying those ridiculous winter electric bills!

 On another note... I am so excited... THE SING OFF is back and I am watching last night's episode! YAY! If you haven't seen this show... you SHOULD! It makes me all warm and fuzzy inside!

And last but not least... tomorrow will be my LAST middle of the week, one day trip to Tulsa for my LAST class of Seminary! Get it!

Week 9
Total weight loss... 29.4 lbs