Day21
Total Weight Loss: 10.7 lbs
It just isn't coming off fast enough... I lost another 2.3 lbs this week... all of it fat... and I know that I should be excited, but it just doesn't feel like enough! Especially when it requires such a complete change in lifestyle to get such a small result... How in the world can someone consume 600 cal a day and only lose 2-3 lbs a week. I miss my homemade pizza with homemade stone ground wheat crust... I miss sushi and pasta... honestly, I just want a piece of freaking bread! I want a Gloria's margarita...
Luckily, more than I want any of that... I want to be thin... so no pizza... no bread... no sushi or pasta... and no Gloria's margarita.
Maybe I'll hit 15 next week!
26 October 2010
24 October 2010
"I'm Melting"
Day 19
One of my favorite childhood movies is the Wizard of Oz... and of course good triumphs over evil when Dorothy throws a bucket of water on the Wicked Witch of the West and she begins to melt away, screeching, "I'm melting... I'm melting!" Well... nobody has thrown a bucket of water on me, but I'm drinking so much water, it's a wonder I haven't floated away... and yes, I am also melting... well not me... but the nasty fat that's stored up inside of me... it's melting away and I am beginning to see the me underneath it... several times this week people have told me that they can see it in my face... my face is getting thinner... they can see my cheekbones... some definition... Yes, slowly, but surely, I am uncovering another beautiful part of me... the beautiful part of me that is on the outside, reflecting the beauty within...
Cedric and I went to see his friend's new baby at the hospital and we took pictures... I could see it in my face too, in the pics.
Looking forward to Tuesday when I weigh-in for the end of week 3. I am pretty confident that I will pass the 10 lb mark. t would be nice to have a bigger loss this week than the past two... Sort of looking forward to getting exercise back this week... I know that I feel better and have more energy when I work out, but now I don't have an excuse note too... ;-)
I work a 28hr tomorrow so, more on Tuesday afternoon after the weigh in...
One of my favorite childhood movies is the Wizard of Oz... and of course good triumphs over evil when Dorothy throws a bucket of water on the Wicked Witch of the West and she begins to melt away, screeching, "I'm melting... I'm melting!" Well... nobody has thrown a bucket of water on me, but I'm drinking so much water, it's a wonder I haven't floated away... and yes, I am also melting... well not me... but the nasty fat that's stored up inside of me... it's melting away and I am beginning to see the me underneath it... several times this week people have told me that they can see it in my face... my face is getting thinner... they can see my cheekbones... some definition... Yes, slowly, but surely, I am uncovering another beautiful part of me... the beautiful part of me that is on the outside, reflecting the beauty within...
Cedric and I went to see his friend's new baby at the hospital and we took pictures... I could see it in my face too, in the pics.
Looking forward to Tuesday when I weigh-in for the end of week 3. I am pretty confident that I will pass the 10 lb mark. t would be nice to have a bigger loss this week than the past two... Sort of looking forward to getting exercise back this week... I know that I feel better and have more energy when I work out, but now I don't have an excuse note too... ;-)
I work a 28hr tomorrow so, more on Tuesday afternoon after the weigh in...
Peace out!
19 October 2010
Loving the machine today!
Day 14
Total Loss: 8.4 lbs
So, today was the weigh-in for my second week... and I lost 2.7 lbs... not so great... not at all what I wanted... but, this week, the machine says my water weight went up and I lost 6 lbs of fat. YAY! This is one time I want to believe the machine! It was definitely encouraging but I still have so far to go...
This week I get fruit back... so now I can have 500 cal of protein, one serving of veggies and one serving of fruit... which means.... drumroll please....
I am enjoying a glass of my favorite wine while I watch The Biggest Loser!
YAY for The Biggest Loser! Yay for wine!
Total Loss: 8.4 lbs
So, today was the weigh-in for my second week... and I lost 2.7 lbs... not so great... not at all what I wanted... but, this week, the machine says my water weight went up and I lost 6 lbs of fat. YAY! This is one time I want to believe the machine! It was definitely encouraging but I still have so far to go...
This week I get fruit back... so now I can have 500 cal of protein, one serving of veggies and one serving of fruit... which means.... drumroll please....
I am enjoying a glass of my favorite wine while I watch The Biggest Loser!
YAY for The Biggest Loser! Yay for wine!
17 October 2010
Instant Gratification
Day 12
I know they say not to weight throughout the week... but I can't resist and the weight is not coming off... I don't understand... Yesterday all I had to eat was Turkey... 4 oz for breakfast... 8 oz for lunch... 8 oz for dinner... it's the leanest high protein food I can find. This morning I had fake eggs and sausage, a turkey pattie for lunch, and fake fajitas (ie. chicken breast, onion, salsa and fat free greek yogurt)... I'm chainging things up and staying creative when I can, so that I don't get bored... But still, I feel the same as I did a week ago and my scale hates me. I am frustrated and disgusted... I know that I didn't get this way overnight so I'm not going to lose it overnight, but it feels like it takes 10x as long to lose it as it does to gain it... I just want to look good now... I want to feel good now...
I saw pictures of my cousin's wedding today... and she looks so incredible... I want to look that gorgeous and be that happy... I want what I want NOW! I am not very good at this patience thing... and I don't want to wait to have patience either... I just want to see a difference... I want to feel a difference...
I know I'm whining... and you have better things to do than read my whining pity party... but the point of this is to be authentic... that magic machine better have something good to say Tuesday... because I need a motivational boost!
I know they say not to weight throughout the week... but I can't resist and the weight is not coming off... I don't understand... Yesterday all I had to eat was Turkey... 4 oz for breakfast... 8 oz for lunch... 8 oz for dinner... it's the leanest high protein food I can find. This morning I had fake eggs and sausage, a turkey pattie for lunch, and fake fajitas (ie. chicken breast, onion, salsa and fat free greek yogurt)... I'm chainging things up and staying creative when I can, so that I don't get bored... But still, I feel the same as I did a week ago and my scale hates me. I am frustrated and disgusted... I know that I didn't get this way overnight so I'm not going to lose it overnight, but it feels like it takes 10x as long to lose it as it does to gain it... I just want to look good now... I want to feel good now...
I saw pictures of my cousin's wedding today... and she looks so incredible... I want to look that gorgeous and be that happy... I want what I want NOW! I am not very good at this patience thing... and I don't want to wait to have patience either... I just want to see a difference... I want to feel a difference...
I know I'm whining... and you have better things to do than read my whining pity party... but the point of this is to be authentic... that magic machine better have something good to say Tuesday... because I need a motivational boost!
14 October 2010
Getting My Stride Back
Day 9
Today was the first day I felt "normal" again. I enjoyed a delicious steak dinner at Jake and Ashley's last night, that was truly a treat. Yesterday was also the first day being on the new Rx and today I could really feel the difference. I didn't feel like I was starving today and I didn't feel like I was about to waste away to nothing. I had energy and felt sustained.
I was able to get on my floors in the hospital today and felt present like I hadn't felt lately. I am "doing" a lot lately, and it was nice to be able to take a seat and "be" in the room with another person, and let time get away from me. I wasn't interrupted my my grumbling tummy, or thoughts of an upcoming interview or appointment... We were so engaged that my patient ignored her phone ringing and said "I don't want to answer that right now. I just want to talk to you." I was even 1/2 an hour late to my seminar because I ignored my pager as she had invited me to do by ignoring her phone. I love my job and I love that I was feeling well enough today to be re-drawn to my ministry.
I'm looking forward to feeling even better as I begin to shed a little more of the "hide" I 've been hiding in and begin to uncover more of the me that God created.
New note to self on my bathroom mirror:
"You are a beautiful child of God. Love yourself like it!"
Breakfast: AdvantEdge protein shake (110 cal; 1 carb)
Lunch: 12 slices of deli meat (90 cal; 2 carbs) filled with Laughing Cow Cheese Wedges (Queso Fresco & Chipotle) (x2=70 cal; 4 carbs) and a Breakstone's Cottage Cheese (90 cal; 6 carbs)
For Dinner: "Fajita Salad"
3 oz Chicken Breast (90 cal)
1/4 c. Fage Non-fat Green Yogurt (30 cal; 2 carbs)
2 c. raw spiniach
2 tbsp salsa
Today was the first day I felt "normal" again. I enjoyed a delicious steak dinner at Jake and Ashley's last night, that was truly a treat. Yesterday was also the first day being on the new Rx and today I could really feel the difference. I didn't feel like I was starving today and I didn't feel like I was about to waste away to nothing. I had energy and felt sustained.
I was able to get on my floors in the hospital today and felt present like I hadn't felt lately. I am "doing" a lot lately, and it was nice to be able to take a seat and "be" in the room with another person, and let time get away from me. I wasn't interrupted my my grumbling tummy, or thoughts of an upcoming interview or appointment... We were so engaged that my patient ignored her phone ringing and said "I don't want to answer that right now. I just want to talk to you." I was even 1/2 an hour late to my seminar because I ignored my pager as she had invited me to do by ignoring her phone. I love my job and I love that I was feeling well enough today to be re-drawn to my ministry.
I'm looking forward to feeling even better as I begin to shed a little more of the "hide" I 've been hiding in and begin to uncover more of the me that God created.
New note to self on my bathroom mirror:
"You are a beautiful child of God. Love yourself like it!"
Breakfast: AdvantEdge protein shake (110 cal; 1 carb)
Lunch: 12 slices of deli meat (90 cal; 2 carbs) filled with Laughing Cow Cheese Wedges (Queso Fresco & Chipotle) (x2=70 cal; 4 carbs) and a Breakstone's Cottage Cheese (90 cal; 6 carbs)
For Dinner: "Fajita Salad"
3 oz Chicken Breast (90 cal)
1/4 c. Fage Non-fat Green Yogurt (30 cal; 2 carbs)
2 c. raw spiniach
2 tbsp salsa
13 October 2010
Trying to Push Through
Day 8
Loss: 5.7 lbs
So, I fell off the wagon with the blogging, but not with the diet plan. I weighed in today and while I didn't lose near as much as I'd like, and the stupid machine said it was all water weight, I did lose 5.7 lbs. The RN said that's normal to lose water weight first while the fat is breaking up, before the body gets rid of it, so I should have a good loss of fat next week. Not to mention that my body composition dropped too... which they explained is that the machine isn't 100% accurate. So, I keep on keeping on...
It was a difficult week. I was hungry but I could tell in my face and by the way my bra fits that I was losing!
Last night Cedric and I celebrated our 3 yr anniversary together at home. I cooked turkey patties (170 cal) with a wedge of Sun-dried Tomato and Basil Laughing Cow cheese (35 cal) and had 1/4 c. of Fage plain, fat-free yogurt with a Splenda (w/ 1 g of Fiber) packet for dinner. I thought it was great... but of course he needed a little more!
As I left Medi last week, I called my doctor's office and left a message asking them to have him call me back because I needed to discuss getting off one of my Rx so that I could do this plan 100% and by Fri I still hadn't heard from him. So, Fri I called him on his cell from the hospital and he answered - because he thought I was his daughter, who also works from the hospital - but I explained the situation to him and he said he would fax the letter. At my appointment today, they notified me that he still hadn't done it... so I went to his office and told them I was sitting in the waiting area to wait for the letter... I also sent him a text saying, I'm here... how can I get it? Within 10 min I had what I asked for over a week ago. Anyway, I drove all the way back to Medi, gave them the letter, and got the new Rx. Hoping that it will help me lose more next week. After my wild goose chase, I came home and had the most delicious salad... it was amazing! Looking forward to a celebratory steak dinner this evening at my brother and sister-in-law's! (Celebrating my approval for Ordination)
Anyway, week one is over... week two, here we go!
Today:
BREAKFAST: EAS AdvantEdge protein shake (110 cal, 17g protein)
LUNCH: "Fajita Salad" (120 cal from protein; 35 cal from veggies)
1/2 c. raw spinach & 1/2 c. raw poblano peppers (25 cal)
3 oz chicken breast (90 cal, 16g protein)
1/4 c. Fage plain, fat free greek yogurt (30 cal, 5g protein) - (perfect sour cream substitute)
2 tbsp salsa (10 cal)
Loss: 5.7 lbs
So, I fell off the wagon with the blogging, but not with the diet plan. I weighed in today and while I didn't lose near as much as I'd like, and the stupid machine said it was all water weight, I did lose 5.7 lbs. The RN said that's normal to lose water weight first while the fat is breaking up, before the body gets rid of it, so I should have a good loss of fat next week. Not to mention that my body composition dropped too... which they explained is that the machine isn't 100% accurate. So, I keep on keeping on...
It was a difficult week. I was hungry but I could tell in my face and by the way my bra fits that I was losing!
Last night Cedric and I celebrated our 3 yr anniversary together at home. I cooked turkey patties (170 cal) with a wedge of Sun-dried Tomato and Basil Laughing Cow cheese (35 cal) and had 1/4 c. of Fage plain, fat-free yogurt with a Splenda (w/ 1 g of Fiber) packet for dinner. I thought it was great... but of course he needed a little more!
As I left Medi last week, I called my doctor's office and left a message asking them to have him call me back because I needed to discuss getting off one of my Rx so that I could do this plan 100% and by Fri I still hadn't heard from him. So, Fri I called him on his cell from the hospital and he answered - because he thought I was his daughter, who also works from the hospital - but I explained the situation to him and he said he would fax the letter. At my appointment today, they notified me that he still hadn't done it... so I went to his office and told them I was sitting in the waiting area to wait for the letter... I also sent him a text saying, I'm here... how can I get it? Within 10 min I had what I asked for over a week ago. Anyway, I drove all the way back to Medi, gave them the letter, and got the new Rx. Hoping that it will help me lose more next week. After my wild goose chase, I came home and had the most delicious salad... it was amazing! Looking forward to a celebratory steak dinner this evening at my brother and sister-in-law's! (Celebrating my approval for Ordination)
Anyway, week one is over... week two, here we go!
Today:
BREAKFAST: EAS AdvantEdge protein shake (110 cal, 17g protein)
LUNCH: "Fajita Salad" (120 cal from protein; 35 cal from veggies)
1/2 c. raw spinach & 1/2 c. raw poblano peppers (25 cal)
3 oz chicken breast (90 cal, 16g protein)
1/4 c. Fage plain, fat free greek yogurt (30 cal, 5g protein) - (perfect sour cream substitute)
2 tbsp salsa (10 cal)
06 October 2010
Day One
7:28a
So, the first day is going to be a little rough... not because I am afraid I'll eat too much, but because I'm afraid I won't eat enough... I am sure that sounds strange, but it is very important that I eat at least 500 calories of protein today, but nothing else. I can have up to 20g carbs, but that is not ideal...I flew to Tulsa yesterday afternoon and took a cab straight to the house where I stay, so I didn't have a chance to get myself any food for today. Now I'm at school and I'm sort of stuck... so I had a protein bar with 17g of protein and 200 calories... but it also had 19g carbs... so there goes my carb intake for the day, in one stupid bar... and it's only 7am... so, hopefully that will tide me over until I can find a protein source... which may very well be when I get home this evening at 5. Tulsa complicates everything....
7:28p
So, I think it's time to go to bed because I am still so hungry and I am finding it difficult to resist the temptation to eat something. I had a chicken breast from TGIFridays at the airport for lunch and then a 3 1/2 oz steak for dinner when I got home. TO be honest, I even cheated at lunch and ate the steamed broccoli, because I thought, if I'm gonna cheat... broccoli is a reasonable cheat, even though I'm not supposed to eat any veggies or fruit this first week. I had 600 calories today... and I am so hungry. I really need my doctor to call me back and give me permission to get off my adderal so I am can take the Rx Medi wants to offer me to suppress my appetite if I'm going to make it through much more of this! One day down... too many to go!
05 October 2010
3..... 2..... 1....
Tuesday, 5 October 2010
Today is the last day of my old life… I went to Medi Weight Loss Clinic today. They took my blood, did an EKG, measured my waist, and put me on this scale that tells you your weight, your BMI, and a bunch of other stuff, but the neatest thing it does is tell you how many lbs of fat you are composed of and how many pounds is water weight, which if you subtract that from your total weight, it also tells you how much the rest of your body weighs… the weight of your body composition of skin, muscles, bones, etc… For as long as I can remember I have been told that my ideal weight is 121-130 and so that is what I believed. When I did LA Weight Loss I got down to 170 and I hit a plateau. I was going through so much other stuff at the time that between being “stuck” and being in the worst relationship ever, I gave up and I let myself gain it all back, plus some. I felt good… looking back, I looked good… but I had it in my mind that I was supposed to lose another 30 lbs and I let that overwhelm me….
Today I learned that my body... bones, skin, muscle tissues and water... without any fat at all, would weigh 130 lbs, so it is not realistic that I should weigh 130 lbs. My goal weight range is 163-172 which doesn’t feel like a big difference but it is… It helps to know that the people who are helping me lose my weight want me to be healthy, not waste away. It helps to know that I was once where I need to be and I know that I can get there again, because I did it! And this time I won’t feel defeated when I get to where I should be, because nobody else will try to tell me that I should lose more. I am looking forward to this journey to wellness!
Today I learned that my body... bones, skin, muscle tissues and water... without any fat at all, would weigh 130 lbs, so it is not realistic that I should weigh 130 lbs. My goal weight range is 163-172 which doesn’t feel like a big difference but it is… It helps to know that the people who are helping me lose my weight want me to be healthy, not waste away. It helps to know that I was once where I need to be and I know that I can get there again, because I did it! And this time I won’t feel defeated when I get to where I should be, because nobody else will try to tell me that I should lose more. I am looking forward to this journey to wellness!
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