Fill My Cup...

So, I went to church this morning and the experience was...
interesting...
the scripture was Luke 23:33-43, where Jesus has been nailed to the cross with the two thieves and he prays to God...
"God, forgive them, for they know not what they do."
And as the thieves banter back and forth, one of them pleads to Jesus
"Jesus, remember me, when you come into our kin-dom"
and Jesus says,
"Today you will be with me in paradise."
A scripture that I love and has so much meaning and can really go anywhere, so I was interested with where the preacher would go with it...
and he walks away from the pulpit and pulls out a box for a visual demonstration...
the visual demonstration he did was very powerful, but I had a hard time following what it had to do with the scripture...
and as he continued...
I had a hard time following what the rest of the sermon had to do with the scripture or the visual...
But it did spark something for me and I took off in a totally different direction...
and this is where I went with it...

So, imagine with me, if you will, a jar...
it can be any jar, as long as it's empty...
and now imagine that this jar is a vessel of a a life...

Now imagine with me a pitcher of water...
and that the water represents the needs, values, priorities of others.

Now, I want to tell you a story....

There once a woman who was committed to caring for the needs of others.
She had been taught that it was good to think of others and not to be selfish...
and it was extremely important that she please others so that they would know she was good and kind and loving and compassionate...
and so she filled her jar full of water until it was running over...

 

And all was well...

until it wasn't...

Things at home began to get a little hectic and her family needed her...

she tried to focus her attention on her family without letting go of anything else and realized that as she tried, the water began to spill out and made a huge mess, and she spent more time cleaning up the mess than actually caring for anyone... 

She realized this was not working and that if she was going to make room for the needs of her loved ones, she was going to have to empty her jar and start all over...

So now, imagine with me, that the needs of her loved ones are represented by sand... 

and so she filled up her jar full of sand... 

and began to nurture the needs of her loved ones... 

and as things began to get better with her loved ones, she still longed to reach out to others, and wondered... 

"Can I still serve others, even though it seems as though my jar is full?"

and so she reached out to see if things would fall apart... 

and she began to add a little water at a time to her sand filled jar... 

and to her amazement... she found that she still had room to love others... 

and so, all was well...

until it wasn't...

She began to feel heavy... and began to realize that everyone around her seemed to have their needs met and to be happier than she felt, and she felt like something was missing... 

even though she was able to take care of her loved ones, and others, she still didn't feel fulfilled...

She realized that while she was busy taking care of everyone else's needs, she had neglected her own... She had always thought that if everyone cared for the needs for other's than everyone's needs would be met...

The problem with that was, that not everyone operates that way... 

and that even those who do, can't care for your needs, if you don't communicate them... 

and you can't communicate them, if you don't take them time to figure out what they are.... 

So as she began to solidify what her needs were she realized they were solid and concrete needs... 

they were important and demanded space...

like rocks... 

and as she tried to fit them into her jar... 

she realized that the water had filled every crevice of space in between the grains of sand and the two were so compacted that as she tried to fit her needs into her jar that was already full of the needs of others and her loved ones it didn't just make a mess... 

it caused her jar to crack from the pressure as she tried to force them in...

and everything came spilling out...

 

Now, her life was shattered and she couldn't hold anyone's needs... 

and in the brokenness, something happened... 

someone reached out to help her pick up the pieces and put herself back together...
and as she began to transform into this new being, other's joined in...
and she realized that love was what was holding her together...
and when all the pieces were joined together, she realized that she didn't look the same as she did before...

 

but somehow, she found she was more beautiful than before... 

and that the cracks added character and that the love showed through with even more brilliance... 

and somehow she was even more open than before... 

and she realized... 

that she didn't have to do everything on her own... 

and that she could no longer neglect her own needs... 

but she didn't want to become selfish... 

After all that she'd been through, she knew she had to do things differently...

that she had to honor the new life she had been given and the love she was being offered...

and she found that if she put her rocks in first, she would still have room...

and if she put her sand in next... 

she would still have room for water...

Because it's true... 

The needs of the world are as deep and wide as the waters of the ocean...

and the needs of the ones we love span as great as the sands of the beaches and deserts of the earth...

and our own needs can at times feel like mountains...

and somehow, God's love holds it all together in perfect balance...

But we aren't God...

We can only hold so much at a time... 

and if we try to take on the needs of the world alone, their waves will smash over our own needs and suck us under...

 So, we must accept our limits...

know our own needs...

and embrace the love of those around us when we need a little reinforcement...

This is what this journey of losing weight has been like for me...

I neglected my core needs and realized I had cracked under the pressure and all of my insides were spilling out around me... 

and I wasn't effective at holding the needs and pain of others I was ministering to... 

and I am realizing that the more I take care of myself, the more I have to offer the ones I love... 

and if I offer myself to them first... 

I still have room to hold the needs and pains of the ones I minster to in the hospital...

and those needs... 
as water... 

evaporate as they move on... 
creating more room for those who come behind.

So as the song my mama taught me, as a little girl, goes

Fill my cup

let it overflow

fill my cup 

let it overflow

fill my cup

let it overflow

let it overflow with love...

and then and only then, can I hold it all together!

So, I am still not sure if the preacher pulled it all together in the end...
but I did!