Change Is Good

So, it's been a while since I posted... and I know I haven't been very regular about it... it's just another one of those things in my life, sort of like everything else right now, that I feel like I am doing a half-a**ed job at!  And seeing as how stress and anxiety are definitely triggers for me when it comes to eating... I am amazed that I haven't blown up like a balloon... I am happy to report, though, that I have continued to lose... not very rapidly of course but last week I lost another 2 lbs and total I have lost 56.2 pounds as of last Fri... which feels really good. 
I did however make a pretty difficult decision this weekend... A few weeks ago I joined Weight Watchers at Work, but I didn't commit to it... basically I was cheating on Medi with WW meetings and not committing to either plan very well... but Friday sort of sealed the deal for me.  I have been craving foods lately that I cannot have... not just bad food... but good food too... I want to eat more fruits and veggies.  I want to have a bowl of oatmeal for breakfast or a piece of toast.  And I am the type of person who likes control, who likes to be independent and self-directing and when I feel like I am being told no... I rebel... so Friday... I went out with some of my minister women friends to my favorite restaurant, Gloria's, and got my favorite dish, the Pollo con Champiniones... and I ate the whole dang thing plus a margarita swirl... I know, disgusting right!  But once upon a time, I would eat that and not think twice about it... but OH MY GOD!  Apparently my stomach has shrunk DRASTICALLY since then, because I have never been in so much pain... I am pretty sure I will never eat that dish again because by the time I got over to my brother's house where my family was, I was ready to either throw up or slice my guts open I was in so much pain. 
Luckily, Mom and Dad were in town this weekend and they do Weight Watchers and have been encouraging me to make the switch from the beginning and I realized that at this point in time, it really is probably the best way for me to keep going, because now I can have those things that I want, and I am learning a lifestyle instead of dieting... I will forever be grateful for Medi and how far I was able to go, and for what I did learn on that program, but I needed a little more freedom in my life right now...
So much of the rest of my world is just so chaotic and limiting... I literally feel stuck and walk around with a huge ball of anxiety in the pit of my stomach and my muscles are so stiff... I am grasping for ways that I can get some control.  So, I switched over to Weight Watchers, I spent a bunch of time on the e-tools yesterday planning out some simple meals for the first week and cooking and portioning.  I had popcorn yesterday and it was delicious!  I had a baked potato for lunch today and it's a "power food"... such a switch from it being completely off-limits before.  I am looking forward to cooking new things and enjoying more diverse foods... foods that are healthy that have been off-limits since October.
I really think that this will be a good change... and a change that will give me some grasp on something right now when I feel like I am loosing my footing.  I think that I am seeking changes on such a huge scale right now, that being able to make changes in small ways is bringing me some anxiety relief... from changing my diet plan to painting my fingernails a new color every day, I am trying to live in the present when I am yearning for the future.  I am so grateful for my family, for Cedric and for my friends who are keeping me sane, right now - I don't know what I would do without them. 
I am excited about starting WW because I have a much larger support system who are already doing Weight Watchers, because I do Weight Watchers at work and my friend Kathy has already been very successful with it, Mom and Dad have been very successful with it... and the best part is... it's free... or at least the meetings are.  So... here comes a new chapter in my Weight Loss Journey Book.  I look forward to discovering new recipes and posting those... and telling you about my new adventures on my bicycle that Jake and Ashley got me... I'm not gonna lie... it's pretty cute.  I will post a picture of me on it soon!
Anyway,  maybe all this change will get me re-motivated with my blogging... hopefully so!

Where's your Sanctuary?

So I was supposed to weigh-in Friday, but I woke up at 4:45am with a debilitating migraine and by the time I woke up, I really had to go to work... so, I will have to wait until this Friday.  Then, the next Friday I will be out of town so I guess I am in an "every 2 weeks" pattern... this has the potential to be very good or very bad...  On the one hand, if I lose like I did last week, it could be very encouraging to see the double digit losses, which could fuel me to keep on my grind!  On the other hand, it gives me more time in between each weigh-in, which can be dangerous.  

Today, I choose to make it work for my health... 

This past week, the Pastoral Care Department of Texas Health Harris Methodist Fort Worth hosted a Faith Community Leadership Summit.  We brought in Terry Hershey as our keynote speaker.  There were many meaningful truths that were powerful for me, one of which being a neat realization for me... 

See, one of the hardest things for people to do is to give our self permission to care for our self... and ministers are the worst.  Terry invited us to really think about the ways that we honor the Sabbath... the way that Jesus modeled throughout his entire ministry... honoring the Spirit of the Sabbath, not the Law...  Even in His ministry, he had to say, "No" to others so that he could say "Yes" to restoring His soul, and after teaching and healing in large crowds of people, he would go away by himself to be alone.  He was modeling for each of us what it means to care for our self so that we have something left to give to the world, and it is something that we all have to be intentional about.... 

Now, this concept is not new to me... it's something that I practice, not all the time of course, but what was a realization for me was realizing what that means to me these days... He asked us to take a moment to think about where our Sanctuary is... that place where we find rest and feed our souls... and that Sanctuary is different for each and every person... my realization was that, for me, that place is at the gym... Never in my life have I ever thought that if someone asked me how I restore my soul, my first thought would be "working out."  It was an exciting realization, made even more exciting yesterday as I was running on the treadmill and kept running... I was thoroughly amazed with myself as I just kept running longer than I have ever been able to do before and didn't get short of breath.  

When I'm doing cardio I try to keep my heart rate upwards of the 70% - 80% range of my resting heart rate... which is supposed to be the "Fat Burning Zone"...  and I have noticed lately that I have had to increase the incline to get to that zone.  (Since my little accident where I sprained my ankle and flew off the back of the treadmill, I have been scared to increase the speed, but yesterday I thought I would give it a try.)  I had "Girl Talk" going on my headphones which really keeps me focused... and I started jogging... I felt so good that I upped the speed a little more and started running... not very fast of course, but running none the less, and I kept waiting for the shortness of breath... but it didn't come... so I just kept going and got a little embarrassed when I realized I was grinning from ear to ear as I ran.  What can I say, it felt really good... and it hit me... this is what it feels like to "let my body catch up with my soul."

Of course, that is not the only way I know to restore my soul... 

spending time with my family restores my soul...  

Skyping with Alicia and Jack Jack...  

A hug from Cedric... 

Talking to Jen... 

Happy Hour with close friends... 

Sitting on my couch on Tuesday evenings with a  healthy meal, watching The Biggest Loser...

...all restore my soul!

So, as I leave you this Sabbath Day, I wonder... where is your Sanctuary?  

Where do you go to find rest and restore your soul? 
Today, I am going to honor it using my creativity to cook... the first creation is this delicious salad...

salmon, avocado, baby bella mushrooms, and Walden Farms Raspberry Vinaigrette

 

Shiratake Tofu Noodles saved my diet tonight

I was too hungry and it looked too good to take the time to grab the good camera... 

so I snapped a shot with my iPhone....

This is Shiratake Fettuccine Alfredo... and it is what saved me... 

I have been craving Fettuccine Alfredo like nobody's business, and I pass an Italian restaurant every day on my way to and from work... and every day I have to say NO.

So, yesterday, on the way home from the doctor, I stopped at the new Sprouts and got some Shiratake Tofu Noodles (Thank you Kathy) and on the back it had a recipe for this Alfredo... 

and I looked forward to it all day... 

It has...

98 cal

2 g fat

6.6 net carbs

8.3 g protein

And... it tastes good!  

I'm sure that if you've had real Italian recently, it wouldn't compare to the richness of a real Alfredo sauce, but since I haven't, it felt like I was cheating... sort of!

Anyway, I also went to the gym today after work... sinus/upper respiratory infection not stopping me. It felt good to get back in the gym.  I am hoping I can make it tomorrow too, but with the Impending Inclement Weather, I may be out of luck.  Good thing I have what I need at home to stay on top of it!

So, while I don't weigh in on Tuesday anymore, I am staying true to my Tuesday night Biggest Loser watching!  And as they ate their chocolates in their temptation, I finished off dinner with a Sugar Free Toffee Square!  AMEN and thank God for Russell Stover Sugar Free Toffee Squares!