Fight or Flight

Humans generally respond to failure in two general ways... Fight or flight...  The way those play out certainly varies according to the uniqueness of our own personalities and histories... but the spirit is still the same... either dig your heels in and keep on keeping on, or fold your cards.
There is something about not succeeding that triggers a mechanism within us that either leaves us feeling defeated, or sending us into overdrive to conquer that very thing that has power over us...
I am located in the midst of that crossroad today...
I knew that I wasn't "feeling" my weigh-in today... I have been super stressed this week... in the midst of a high-anxiety workplace... financially strapped... wanting more than just a glimpse of my future - but to actually be living into it right now... and I know that I haven't made very good decisions about the way I care for my body...
The reality is that I could eat twice my daily calorie allotment and still not gain because my body burns that many calories a day without any extra exercise... and I did hit the gym this week, as well as start using my new home equipment that I got for Christmas... but it doesn't burn the emotional calories consumed in eating things I know I shouldn't... Every day I planned well... I had my meals pre-cooked to take to work and keep it simple and I did well all day.... but in the evening I would let myself be overcome and have something extra that I shouldn't have... its not like I have any junk here at the house so its not the actual food that was bad... it was just that I wasn't supposed to eat the extra calories... one night I had 3 glasses of wine, knowing full well that the carbs would send my body out of ketosis.... one night I ate a cup of Chobani strawberry yogurt... it was really good... but I knew that I had already had the fruit serving I was supposed to have...
So... today I drove to Medi... thinking of all the excuses I could for why I couldn't weigh in.... and sat in the parking lot for 15 min talking to Cai Cai, not wanting to face the music... but I made myself put on my "big girl panties" and get on the scale...
It wasn't surprising to me to see that I had gained 0.2 lbs... not that 0.2 is really significant... but what was surprising was that it wasn't fat... in fact... according to the "magic scale"... I lost 2.8 lbs of fat, but I gained water and lean body mass... and while that is a good thing... it doesn't change that it was the first time I saw a number on the scale bigger than the week before...
So, the question is, will I use that feeling to motivate me to lose big this week, or will I use it as an excuse to give up...
I think that anyone who knows me, knows the answer to that question... but I'm not going to pretend that it wasn't disappointing!

Until next week... send me thoughts of strong will and determination... self control and strength!
Peace Out Suckas!