Yesterday morning when I woke up, I was really dragging. I could barely force myself out of bed an hour after I had intended on getting moving and it really took a lot to get going. This morning, I woke up to Tigre meowing for breakfast and Dory whining to go outside at 5:54... which is Dory's chosen time to go out every morning... and I wasn't groggy at all, after I took Dory out I laid in bed with her for another 45 min but I wasn't sleepy... I got up, I got ready and I was out the door, feeling good and energetic.
AND.... I know you aren't supposed to get on the scale throughout the week because it can be discouraging and disillusioning and all that... but I did it anyway... and DANG GINA... I am so glad I did... Even though I know that a lot of the loss was water weight, it is still extremely motivating... because I had already lost 6.9 lbs in just one day... That will help me make it through one more day!
22 August 2012
21 August 2012
Medi: Part II
So I went back to Medi yesterday and I'm starting all over again... since I know that it works, as long as I follow the program... it seemed like the best way to tackle this demon.
It's expenisve and I am not sure how long I will be able to afford it, but I figure if that isn't motivation to make it work, then I am in trouble anyway.
So far, today, I am doing well. I'm drinking my water. I had a protein shake and a hard boiled egg for breakfast; a protein shake and a mini baby bell for lunch; and I plan on having tilapia for dinner. I am hungry and have a but of a headache but I knew that would be the case... and at least for the first week, it will only get worse. Then next week, it will start to get better until I start to feel good.
Last Friday I went to my first Spiritual Direction session, and I am excited about beginning a new journey to wholeness, which means spiritual, emotional and pysical health. My jounrey is to rediscover the authentic Megan... who is Brave, Bold, Healthy, Joyful and Trusting. There are so many goals that I want in life and I need to be Brave, Bold, Healthy, Joyful and Trusting in order to reach them.
So I am looking forward to this new journey and will need a lot of accountability!
It's expenisve and I am not sure how long I will be able to afford it, but I figure if that isn't motivation to make it work, then I am in trouble anyway.
So far, today, I am doing well. I'm drinking my water. I had a protein shake and a hard boiled egg for breakfast; a protein shake and a mini baby bell for lunch; and I plan on having tilapia for dinner. I am hungry and have a but of a headache but I knew that would be the case... and at least for the first week, it will only get worse. Then next week, it will start to get better until I start to feel good.
Last Friday I went to my first Spiritual Direction session, and I am excited about beginning a new journey to wholeness, which means spiritual, emotional and pysical health. My jounrey is to rediscover the authentic Megan... who is Brave, Bold, Healthy, Joyful and Trusting. There are so many goals that I want in life and I need to be Brave, Bold, Healthy, Joyful and Trusting in order to reach them.
So I am looking forward to this new journey and will need a lot of accountability!
30 June 2012
Self-disgust
I watched Extreme Makeover: Weight Loss Edition and Jacqui was crying b she had to look at herself and it made me face it... It was time to get on the scale.
So I got on the scale today and immediately felt nauseous. I'm recommitted. My body has been telling me that I need to pay attention. I have cankles for the first time in my life and they hurt so bad when I walk. I'm never hungry and food doesn't even taste good anymore but I keep eating. I'm so done. It starts right now!
So I got on the scale today and immediately felt nauseous. I'm recommitted. My body has been telling me that I need to pay attention. I have cankles for the first time in my life and they hurt so bad when I walk. I'm never hungry and food doesn't even taste good anymore but I keep eating. I'm so done. It starts right now!
06 November 2011
Thanksgivings
The past several days have been wonderfully relaxing... I have been "unemployed" for 3 days... tomorrow will make 4... before I start my new job on Tuesday. I am very excited and still somewhat anxious... it's like a part of me doesn't believe it's real until I get there... but I have been trying to just relax and enjoy a few days of doing whatever I want... even if that is nothing... and I did a lot of that... But yesterday I got out and rode my bicycle which felt great. Today I got in the gym and pushed myself on the treadmill... doing sprints faster than I've done before... and It felt amazing that I could do it... I just need to work through my fear of jumping on and off the sides onto a fast moving treadmill so that I can go a little faster. I just push the button to speed up and slow down while i run which isn't extremely effective. I'll get there though.... Anyway, to catch up on the things I'm thankful for...
Friday, 4 November - Spending time with my old friend Sarah (Meadows) Perez... it had been too long and it felt so good to hang out like old times.
Today I'm thankful for my the worship service at my church... today's service exemplified the reasons why I chose to make FW1st my home.
Looking forward to my first week at my new job! Hope you all have a wonderful week too!
Thursday, 3 November - The wonderful people at United Way of Tarrant County, the blessing of having the opportunity to work with them during the campaign this year, and for Happy Hour fellowship with them to celebrate Cory's and my entrance into the 9-5 world of stability and consistency.
(an old pic but a good one)
Saturday, 5 November - For my amazing family that continues to grow...
Today I'm thankful for my the worship service at my church... today's service exemplified the reasons why I chose to make FW1st my home.Looking forward to my first week at my new job! Hope you all have a wonderful week too!
02 November 2011
Successes, Opportunties for Growth and Thanksgivings
Today was an overall successful day. I finished the day with 6 Pts+ points left. I resisted a second chicken enchilada at lunch (which were really good), I resisted pizza and candy and pumpkin pie at the office, I enjoyed sushi/sashimi with a friend for a healthy dinner, and I feel good.
Like any day... there were Opportunities for growth... like the fact that I didn't make it to the gym... I could give you an excuse, but the reality is that I was resistant and just didn't want to go...
But, today I am thankful for grace... because in between the successes and the opportunities for growth is a new-found grace that has taught me that I haven't failed.
Like any day... there were Opportunities for growth... like the fact that I didn't make it to the gym... I could give you an excuse, but the reality is that I was resistant and just didn't want to go...
But, today I am thankful for grace... because in between the successes and the opportunities for growth is a new-found grace that has taught me that I haven't failed.
01 November 2011
11-1-11
On this day of "1's"... Being 11-1-11... I found myself at Day 1 all over again... and it went great!
I came in 5 Pts+ points less than goal and I feel fulfilled.
I also returned to another key ritual in my weight loss success... watching the Biggest Loser... I am three weeks behind but I have them all on my DVR so I started playing catch up tonight... starting with the one where Hannah returns... which was just the inspiration I needed... Thanks Hannah!
In the spirit of the 11th month of the year... the month of my birth as well as the month of Thanksgiving... I will try to post about something I am thankful for every day...
Today I am thankful for hope.
I came in 5 Pts+ points less than goal and I feel fulfilled.
I also returned to another key ritual in my weight loss success... watching the Biggest Loser... I am three weeks behind but I have them all on my DVR so I started playing catch up tonight... starting with the one where Hannah returns... which was just the inspiration I needed... Thanks Hannah!
In the spirit of the 11th month of the year... the month of my birth as well as the month of Thanksgiving... I will try to post about something I am thankful for every day...
Today I am thankful for hope.
Self-Definition
So... for the sake of stating the obvious... It has been a long time since I've posted... Alot has happened since I last wrote and my body feels it. Several months ago... I had an interview in Cleveland, Ohio with a highly regarded hospital for a position as a full-time chaplain. Needless to say, that interview process left much to be desired... not including the fact that I was not offered the position, because after that process, I was certain it was not a good fit for me...
That experience, however, set into motion a downward spiral of emotional, physical and mental destructiveness as I allowed the feedback of one individual to steal my own authority, self-definition and ultimately my power. One of my biggest regrets that resulted from that interview, and there are many, is that I discontinued my blog... believing that somehow it was crippling me on the job front. Looking back, I realize that the feedback I recieved from that individual revealed more about her than it did about me, but the way I reacted to it (instead of responding) revealed some significant areas of opportunity in my growth, and was worth processing and reflecting on.
The past several months have encompassed a great deal of heart-ache, stress, despair, hope, transition, healing, future planning, relationship cut-offs and re-building... however painful it may feel, and ultimately... self-definition. I have been reflecting on, and processing who I am, what I want and what I need.... re-defining what it means to be me... and be me most fully.
This is a difficult and painful process... not only for me, but also for those in relationship with me as I begin to re-claim what i need in those relationships in ways that feel like me pushing away, distancing or even cutting-off... but ultimately I believe that it is a life-giving process for me, for those I am in relationship with and for the relationships themselves... I have experienced newness and blossoming in my relationships as they take shape in new ways...
So of course... all of that is well and good... but the most important relationship for any of us, is the one we have with ourself, because this relationship is the one that determines the health and vitality of all other relationships we maintain. And so the time has come for me to recommit myself to me... to revive my relationship with myself... to listen to my inner being and start tending to my own needs with a more intentional and disciplined focus...
When I listen to myself, I hear my body telling me, it's time to pay attention to it... I have gained some weight back... enough that I feel uncomfortable in my own skin again... and I made a promise to myself that I wasn't going to allow myself to gain the weight back after I lost it...
So... I renewed my subscription to Weight Watchers Online today and I started tracking again... I already have a membership to 24 Hr fitness, so there's no excuse not to be active...
I start my new job next week and the office (not that I will ever really be in the office) is literally across the street from one of the gyms I go to... so... It's on!
And in the spirit of that recommital... I recommit myself to my blog as well... this blog has been one of the keys to my success, not only because it holds me accountable, but because it is a way for me to share myself and my story with others who are going through the same struggles... not neccessarily only weight struggles, but the battles with our inner selves that cause us to live in less than life-giving ways. When sharing my story results in other people sharing their stories with me as well, I feel that sense of community and trust that builds mutality and support. That is why I blog... it is a positive, life-giving form of self-care... one of multiple forms of self-care that I practice... but one that I have found to meet my needs... and I will not make apologies for it.
That experience, however, set into motion a downward spiral of emotional, physical and mental destructiveness as I allowed the feedback of one individual to steal my own authority, self-definition and ultimately my power. One of my biggest regrets that resulted from that interview, and there are many, is that I discontinued my blog... believing that somehow it was crippling me on the job front. Looking back, I realize that the feedback I recieved from that individual revealed more about her than it did about me, but the way I reacted to it (instead of responding) revealed some significant areas of opportunity in my growth, and was worth processing and reflecting on.
The past several months have encompassed a great deal of heart-ache, stress, despair, hope, transition, healing, future planning, relationship cut-offs and re-building... however painful it may feel, and ultimately... self-definition. I have been reflecting on, and processing who I am, what I want and what I need.... re-defining what it means to be me... and be me most fully.
This is a difficult and painful process... not only for me, but also for those in relationship with me as I begin to re-claim what i need in those relationships in ways that feel like me pushing away, distancing or even cutting-off... but ultimately I believe that it is a life-giving process for me, for those I am in relationship with and for the relationships themselves... I have experienced newness and blossoming in my relationships as they take shape in new ways...
So of course... all of that is well and good... but the most important relationship for any of us, is the one we have with ourself, because this relationship is the one that determines the health and vitality of all other relationships we maintain. And so the time has come for me to recommit myself to me... to revive my relationship with myself... to listen to my inner being and start tending to my own needs with a more intentional and disciplined focus...
When I listen to myself, I hear my body telling me, it's time to pay attention to it... I have gained some weight back... enough that I feel uncomfortable in my own skin again... and I made a promise to myself that I wasn't going to allow myself to gain the weight back after I lost it...
So... I renewed my subscription to Weight Watchers Online today and I started tracking again... I already have a membership to 24 Hr fitness, so there's no excuse not to be active...
I start my new job next week and the office (not that I will ever really be in the office) is literally across the street from one of the gyms I go to... so... It's on!
And in the spirit of that recommital... I recommit myself to my blog as well... this blog has been one of the keys to my success, not only because it holds me accountable, but because it is a way for me to share myself and my story with others who are going through the same struggles... not neccessarily only weight struggles, but the battles with our inner selves that cause us to live in less than life-giving ways. When sharing my story results in other people sharing their stories with me as well, I feel that sense of community and trust that builds mutality and support. That is why I blog... it is a positive, life-giving form of self-care... one of multiple forms of self-care that I practice... but one that I have found to meet my needs... and I will not make apologies for it.
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